Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize