That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
