my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
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