i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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