I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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