No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
