it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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