I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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