Barsexuality is the new black.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
