Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize