dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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