dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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