TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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