Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.