Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed. http://tfl.nu/a1ez
  Replies (19) Good night (692) Bad night (3538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose? http://tfl.nu/me2j
  Replies (17) Good night (536) Bad night (4516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks... http://tfl.nu/ccgl
  Replies (6) Good night (6097) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time. http://tfl.nu/24re
  Replies (10) Good night (2831) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your completely serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby (617): your completely serious http://tfl.nu/nhex
  Replies (9) Good night (2259) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (1862) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon http://tfl.nu/mt9v
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He didn't think we needed a taxi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving (301): He didn't think we needed a taxi http://tfl.nu/o7fa
  Replies (1) Good night (1368) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him? http://tfl.nu/lo67
  Replies (20) Good night (562) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina http://tfl.nu/e6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla http://tfl.nu/8j5u
  Replies (3) Good night (227) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong. http://tfl.nu/f8bz
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (135)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur http://tfl.nu/mu3r
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f
  Replies (3) Good night (114) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt

Randomize