ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.