Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
babies were throwing up all over the place
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize