and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.