dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
