Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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