just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
