i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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