some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
