If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
