no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
