OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
