Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
