Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
