you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its about making memories worth repressing
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
