Your tits are I can't wait for
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize