Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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