nut hugger
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
