Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
