I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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