New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
