I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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