It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Enjoy the penises
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
