My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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