My brain says no but my pants say off.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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