omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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