i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
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Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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