so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize