We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
