have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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