11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
