You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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