I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
