I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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