he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
