Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you never un-have a 4some
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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