I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize