well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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