there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
