Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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