and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
