my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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