If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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