Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
