I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
