I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He did a backflip because drugs
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