I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
