apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
