You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
