you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
