operation harelip BJ is a go
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
